And Just Like That She Was Gone

June 8, 2010 By Mike Leave a Comment

We said goodbye to our 14 year old foster child this past weekend. We’ve had her for nearly a year. It was rough.

When I tell people I do foster care many of them say “I’d love to do that, but I couldn’t deal with letting a child go.” I’ll tell ya, me either. It was hard to say goodbye to such a great kid. She had been with us for nearly a year and was part of the family. But, she has her own family, and she’s where she belongs.

One of the coolest moments about saying goodbye was when her Mom gave my wife a hug and said “thank you”. That doesn’t happen a lot in foster care and it was pretty cool to see and was , well, gratifying.

During our foster care support group one of the new foster parents said “how do you let a child go that’s been with you for a long time.” A veteran foster parent (I believe she’s had 65+ kids come and go in her home) said “you grieve…and then you pray that God prepares your heart for the next child.”

So, we’re grieving…and preparing. God has a plan and he knows what’s coming next, and that’s what we’re trusting.

Filed Under: Faith, Foster Parenting, Parenting

How big is your pad in heaven?

May 18, 2010 By Mike Leave a Comment

I sat through a talk yesterday from a woman who had adopted 11 foster kids. That’s not counting the 3 she birthed herself. And the 11 foster kids were the ‘worst of the worst’. Meaning the kids no one else would take.

The first thing that popped in my head was “man she has a huge reward coming her way when she gets to heaven”. I imagined her walking into the pearly gates and God saying “Well done. Here’s is your reward.” And then points to a spread that would make Bill Gates’ house look like a doghouse.

I know a lot of people who say, “hey I just want to get IN, I don’t care if they put me in a tool shed, at least I’ll be there.” Ok, I guess. But how many of us in life live to “just stay alive”? Where’s the motivation for “more”? And not being greedy, but think about it. The God of the universe who created you and me has rewards for us. I don’t think God’s sitting up there with iPads to pass out, he’s got something special up his sleeve. Me, well, I don’t want to miss out on ANYTHING God has to offer.

Filed Under: Faith, Parenting

Saying Goodbye to Frank

February 16, 2010 By Mike 2 Comments

The call came at 11:00AM on Tuesday. “Hey man, not good news…” My heart dropped. “Frank’s body is full of cancer. It’s not good.” “How long does he have?” I asked. “A couple days…” Tears filled my eyes and I didn’t care.

We got Franklin the week after our honeymoon so he’s always been part of the Ruman house. As Lisa says “He’s is our first baby boy.”

Frank has had his brushes with death.

When Frank was a puppy we kept him in our bathroom at night (if we let run loose he would have torn the house apart, we know, we learned the hard way).

One morning I went to let Frank out. When I opened the door I saw the floor, covered in Tylenol pills. The dang dog had gotten into the medicine cabinet and got into our (Sam’s Club size) Tylenol bottle. We thought we were going to have a dead dog that day. But, a little gas was all that came from that.

We have a ton of memories with Frank. Taking him swimming at the cottage, hiking, driving, playing with the kids. Thankfully we take a lot of pictures, and a lot of videos.

Here’s one recent memory.

http://www.vimeo.com/9424112

Franklin didn’t last a couple more days. We knew that night that we was fading away. He crawled into bed with us about 3AM and laid his head on my stomach. I didn’t sleep that night knowing what the morning had in mind for us.

The ride to the vet was rough. Franklin loved going for rides. He would bounce around like a kangaroo whenever the word was mentioned. Little did Frank know he wouldn’t be returning with us after that ride.

Saying goodbye sucks. I mean it really sucks. Frank was only 7 years old.

I didn’t want to leave the vet that day. And even after we did leave I wanted to sneak back in and kidnap Frank and take him hiking. But, I know what was best for him. He needed to be relieved of the pain his body was it.

Is Frank in heaven? I think he is. I think God knows how much some of the animals he made mean to us and wants us to be happy. Is that biblical? No, but, it’s what helps get though the pain.

I see Frank running though fields, peeing on every bush he meets. I see him playing with other dogs going on adventures together. And every once in a while I see him stop and listen for ‘ride!’ as he goes in circles to jump in the car with us.

Goodbye Franklin. You are missed.

Filed Under: General, Parenting
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