Parenting - Mike Ruman | Husband, Father, Friend, Fighter

Sometimes You Have To Leave Your Family Behind

October 22, 2011 By Mike Leave a Comment

I left my family behind this week. It was good for me … and for them.

This was my office, in Vail. #toughlife

Four days away from Lisa and our four (very young) children.

Did I feel guilty about this? A little. Should I feel guilty? No.

Every person should leave their family behind for these three reasons.

Recharge – Young children can be a bit draining on you … okay that is a bit of an understatement. Young children are very draining on you. They can, and will, burn you out. Getting away for a few days helps recharge the your mind and body.
Reflect - Life moves at 1,000 MPH, we all know that. Spending a few days away from the family gives me time to think about all that is/has/is going to be going on. I end up thanking God quite a bit during this time.
Return – Coming back after a few days of being away makes returning home so … umm … awesome? Yep, awesome. I long to return home after being away. There is just something about opening the door and having the smiles of your kids and especially that beautiful wife of mine when I return. That, my friends, is priceless.

I get away for a few days every quarter. That works for me and my family. I can say fairly confidently that it’ll work for you as well.

Filed Under: Foster Parenting, General, Parenting

Holy Cow! The Twins are Turning ONE!!!

March 7, 2011 By Mike 1 Comment

Lisa and I are planning the twins first birthday party. OMG!

I remember the day I got the call. It was a Friday afternoon and I was meeting in my office with a coworker when the phone rang, it was Lisa.

“You are gonna think I’m crazy, but there are twin 5 week olds, what should we do?” she said.

Without thinking I said “Sure, why not.”

Thing is Lisa was about 3 months pregnant at the time and your chances of getting babies in foster care are slim to none, so I figured we had about a 10% chance we would get them. And that may be guessing a little high.

When I got home from work we got the second call saying come to the hospital to pick them up. “WHAT?” Excitement, fear, and about 10 other emotions went through my mind. And then I thought “oh crap, I gotta get a crib put together” (thankfully we could put both babies in the same crib). So Cooper and I went to work and Lisa went to the hospital to meet our new foster babies.

Lisa didn’t get home till late that night with the two little bundles of joy. They were so small. I mean like 4lbs each small. So small I was scared to hold them.

I remember Little Girl looked like she was gonna take her last breath at any minute. So frail. So precious. She was in rough shape. She had spent the first 15 days of her life in the ICU.

Mr.Peepers, well, he was a cutie since day one. Just a cute kid, still is.

We have a TON of stories that have happened between that night and now, so many. One day I will put them all in a book, a book called “What We’re We Thinking?” or something like that. For now this is all I have time to write.

It’s been a long 11 months with the twins, and Cooper, and then Sydney. Not much sleeping at the Ruman house, but God has provided rest, a little, well enough. This Sunday’s sermon was about “Give us today our daily bread.” And God has done that, every single day.

The future of the twins is sitting down at the courthouse now. We are patiently waiting to see what their future holds. If we get the nod we would love to be their forever family, but we also support whatever the legal system decides. I do pray for bio Mom and Dad. I cannot even imagine what their last 11 months have been like. I know what ours has been; tough, rewarding, emotional, draining, joyful, and much more.

Happy Birthday Little Girl and Mr.Peepers. Love Mommy Lisa and Daddy Mike. :)

Filed Under: Foster Parenting, Parenting

Fostering the Parent

October 5, 2010 By Mike 1 Comment

Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Mark 2:17

One thing that has been on my mind recently when it comes to foster parenting is the way I’m seeing biological parents being portrayed/treated. We all signed up to do this for the kids, but I think there is a HUGE opportunity to show God’s love, God’s grace, and God’s mercy to the biological parent.

We could go on and on why the biological parents don’t DESERVE love and respect. They’ve done some awful things to these children. BUT what if we showed them compassion? What if we showed them love, God’s love? What if we said “I don’t care what you did, let’s get you better and get you your kids back.”

We don’t know what sort of life the biological parents have gone through. I put myself in their shoes. What if I was beaten all my life? What if I was broke with 4 kids to feed? What if my family disowned me? I’m not saying those are excuses for what they’ve done, I’m just saying step back for a minute and think about that.

These parents are hurting. They’ve had complete strangers come into their home and take away their kids. Kids they DO love.

I’m as guilty as anyone for making biological parents sound like monsters. I need to stop. Will you join me?

Filed Under: Foster Parenting, General, Parenting