Foster Parenting - Mike Ruman | Husband, Father, Friend, Fighter

Our First Foster Placement Felt Like a Drug Deal

Last night at the foster care round table someone asked us foster parents “What was your first placement like?”

We have a great story, and this is it.

Lisa and I had been certified for about a week when we got the call. “7 month old girl … short term … can you take here?” We immediately said “YES!”. “Ok, we’ll call back with further instructions.”

Huh? Did we just step into some James Bond flick?

They did call back. “Meet a white van behind the Village Inn on Garden of the Gods.”

Really? Is that how our department of human services works? Meet some random person at some random location to pick up a random child? The answer is “yup”.

So, we got Cooper (who was 18 months) loaded into our minivan and headed off. It was about 10PM so things were really dark. We pulled into the Village Inn and waited … for the white van … and then we waited … and waited some more.

Finally around 11PM a white van DID pull up. Was this them? They pulled up next to us and a lady came out. She looked legit.

She asked us if we were the Rumans. We said “yes”. She then proceeded to open the side door and there was this precious little baby, sound asleep.

It’s a humbling feeling when you get passed your first foster child. The government really trusts us enough to put us in charge of a random human life? It truly is an honor.

Well, that’s the story of our first placement. The rest have been rather, well, dull compared to that one. But that’s the fun of foster parenting, you never know what that next call may entail.

Filed Under: Foster Parenting

Holy Cow! The Twins are Turning ONE!!!

by Mike

Lisa and I are planning the twins first birthday party. OMG!

I remember the day I got the call. It was a Friday afternoon and I was meeting in my office with a coworker when the phone rang, it was Lisa.

“You are gonna think I’m crazy, but there are twin 5 week olds, what should we do?” she said.

Without thinking I said “Sure, why not.”

Thing is Lisa was about 3 months pregnant at the time and your chances of getting babies in foster care are slim to none, so I figured we had about a 10% chance we would get them. And that may be guessing a little high.

When I got home from work we got the second call saying come to the hospital to pick them up. “WHAT?” Excitement, fear, and about 10 other emotions went through my mind. And then I thought “oh crap, I gotta get a crib put together” (thankfully we could put both babies in the same crib). So Cooper and I went to work and Lisa went to the hospital to meet our new foster babies.

Lisa didn’t get home till late that night with the two little bundles of joy. They were so small. I mean like 4lbs each small. So small I was scared to hold them.

I remember Little Girl looked like she was gonna take her last breath at any minute. So frail. So precious. She was in rough shape. She had spent the first 15 days of her life in the ICU.

Mr.Peepers, well, he was a cutie since day one. Just a cute kid, still is.

We have a TON of stories that have happened between that night and now, so many. One day I will put them all in a book, a book called “What We’re We Thinking?” or something like that. For now this is all I have time to write.

It’s been a long 11 months with the twins, and Cooper, and then Sydney. Not much sleeping at the Ruman house, but God has provided rest, a little, well enough. This Sunday’s sermon was about “Give us today our daily bread.” And God has done that, every single day.

The future of the twins is sitting down at the courthouse now. We are patiently waiting to see what their future holds. If we get the nod we would love to be their forever family, but we also support whatever the legal system decides. I do pray for bio Mom and Dad. I cannot even imagine what their last 11 months have been like. I know what ours has been; tough, rewarding, emotional, draining, joyful, and much more.

Happy Birthday Little Girl and Mr.Peepers. Love Mommy Lisa and Daddy Mike. :)

Filed Under: Foster Parenting, Parenting

3 Types of Responses to Child Abuse

by Mike

It’s the morning after my longest night ever. My night was spent in the Children’s Hospital here in Colorado Springs. Our foster daughter just had brain surgery and we’re here recovering.

There was a lot going on in the hospital last night, besides our own child’s problems. I heard a code red issued and many feet went a running. My mind raced with ideas of what the code red was all about. More than likely it was a hurting child.

Spending the night here got me thinking about kids in pain, sick kids, abused kis. It’s hard to accept the fact that bad things do happen to good people, even kids and babies. I figure there are three types of people when it comes to this. Here they are:

Pretend Nothing Bad Happens To Children – If we ignore the problem it goes away, right? Nope. I’m also thinking that some people just don’t have the emotional threshold to deal with a child going through this sort of stuff. I know I was regretting coming in and seeing our own foster daughter in the state she was in, it’s rough.

Acknowledge That Bad Things Happen and Do Nothing – A quote from Elie Wiesel comes to mind “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”
- Someone else will take care of them.
- It’s not my job.
- I have enough on my plate as it is.
Do something. Step up. Make a difference. Even if it’s something small. We all have special gifts and talents that allow us to lend a hand here or there. I promise you once you step up you will not regret it.
People that Act and Help Out – I spent the first 26 years of my life as a #2, I knew bad things happened but did nothing. Why? I don’t know, mostly selfishness. It didn’t benefit me so I wasn’t going to do anything. I kick myself sometimes at the years I wasted, but then I quickly kick myself again and say you’re doing something now, so shut up and keep doing. It’s easy to beat ourselves up about what we do or don’t do to help out.

Bottom line: Which number are you now … and which number will you be this time next year? You have the power to control that, do something about it.